Los Ouran
by Amaterasu Ai
Summary: Halibel, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Szayel are sent on a mission, but they end up at the Ouran High School. Let's see how this will turn out, it probably won't be pretty. Rated T for Grimmjow.
1. Chapter 1

Las Ouran~

Written By: Heeeyyyyy! Underlined ish me! (Hana Ninjacats Harribel) _And who else writes in italics? Yup MEEE~ Amaterasu Ai^^ Yup, we're BOTH writing a fic together!_

_Characters: Featuri-_ Okay, we've got Tamaki, Haruhi, and the twins from Ouran~! ^-^_ *steals keyboard from her hands* DON'T INTERUPT ME WHEN I'M TYPING. And from Bleach, we have Ulquiorra Cifer, Tia Harrib- _MY BIG SISTA! :D_ …-_-" … -el…and Szayel Aporro Granz, or as I like to call him SAG! XD _I call him Pinky… ^^

_Disclaimer: We don't own Bleach (Tite Kubo does) _and we don't own Ouran High School Host Club either…( the genius whose name I forgot wrote it. ^^ )

_Summary: Aizen has ordered Tia, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, and Szayel to go into the Living World and go to school. Stealing his credit card, Tia, with the help of Tamaki, enrolls them into Ouran High School. Of COURSE, the boys get dragged into the Host Club. This will NOT end pretty…_

Now my half of the summary: The Host club is enjoying a normal day of cleaning up after the last customer leaves, when new students literately fall from the sky and crash through the ceiling. Well, Tamaki thinks that they're pretty special. Falling from the sky and stuff…so he helps them out and gets them enrolled. Since his dad's like, the headmaster and junk…

~T~

"Goodbye, Meiru-chan! See you on Monday!" Haruhi yells. It's so cute how proper she is, staying by the door whenever we close, and saying goodbye to every single customer.

"Hey Tono, are you spying on Haruhi again?" The twins say. Dang…caught…they point at each other. "You know what happened last time you spied on her. Man, that got reeaaaallll ugly…"

I get up from my hiding spot behind the couch and straighten my jacket. "Just shut up…" I say, walking away.

They don't know what it's like to truly be in love with someone you can't date. People would think I was gay…

~U~

"GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT?" screamed Grimmjow as he fell through the sky. We all looked over at him, not really expecting something significant. "I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!" We all rolled our eyes and air-swam away from the airplane headed our way. Trashy cat who just choked on some random insect that flew into his mouth…

_(For those of you who don't watch Bleach, I'll fit in a description of the four) _Let me introduce myself to you trashy readers. I am Ulquiorra Cifer. My appearance, according to Grimmjow, is 'freakishly white'. I am pale, green eyed and black haired.

Grimmjow is light blue haired and blue eyed. He isn't pale and he has an annoying habit of wearing his jacket open, showing off his scar. Szayel Aporro is pink haired, orange eyed, and wears glasses, and Tia is blonde, light green eyed, and probably will give half the male population a nosebleed if she were to put on a bathing suit.

If you want to know what we look like (or more detail) do what everyone in your modern world would do. Look us up on Google Images.

For now, we are falling towards some huge and strange looking building…

~K~

I was just doing my cleaning duties after club ended, my brother on the other side of the room. Then the ceiling crashes in and there's dust everywhere. I fell back from some random force.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! Where'd you go? KAORU!" My twin yells, running through the dust to find me. I feel an arm wrap around my waist and a hand holding up my head.

"Are you okay, Kaoru? That was a pretty big crash…I wonder what caused the ceiling to give like that…" My older Twin is talking a little too fast for me to understand.

"What'd you say?" I ask, trying to sit up. I think I sprain my wrist…the dust clears a little and he sees me struggling.

"Kaoru! You're hurt!" He leaves my head and back to support themselves and gets on his knees to check out my wrist.

"It's just a sprain, Hikaru. I'm fine. The real question is if you're okay." I reply. We're pretty close right now. And I don't mean emotionally, I mean he's so close that I can smell his strawberry shampoo.

"Um…guys…stop with the yaoi…we have visitors…" Haruhi says, appearing behind us and pointing to a random new pile of blonde, blue…pale, and pink…

"What the…?" We say simultaneously. It's a twin thing…

"Where the hell are we NOW, smartass?" Asked the blue haired guy as he smacked the pink haired lady-man.

Well, Tamaki just HAS to be the center of ALL attention, and so he approaches the new scary-looking people. He's such an idiot…

"Where do you come from, commoners? You don't look like you're from here…" He says. Yup, Tamaki has such a big mouth. Next thing we know the blonde girl and the pink-haired guy-lady is holding the blue-haired person back…

~H~

"Excuse our _friend_, but he has anger issues. Let me introduce myself. I am Szayel Aporro Granz," said Szayel as he sent a mini cero to the back of Grimmjow's head, knocking him out. "Oh dear…it seems our _friend_ is feeling unwell. Will you give us a place to stay for a while?"

The group looked like they were about to say no. Now, I've had to deal with a bunch of idiots all day so I will NOT take no for an answer.

"Listen," I started, "Just give us a place to stay if you don't want to die."

"Well," the blonde says, scratching the back of his head, "How can we say no to that…?" I seemed to have scared him a bit, and maybe scarred him emotionally…Oh well, we are Arrancar, we don't care, we kill stuff (well, most of us do)

"Thank you," I say half heartedly. We just stood there awkwardly for a while.

Taking a look around, I see…two people who look alike and also looking quite gay on the ground…and a girl standing over them, trying to break them up…smart… I just wonder why she's in a boy uniform…

The blonde person was just standing there, looking a bit pale. So I tried to lighten the mood.

"Um…so…oh boy, why don't you give us a tour of this lovely place…?" I suggested awkwardly. Szayel and Ulquiorra glanced over to the closed door.

"I agree, Halibel, Grimmjow is getting quite heavy, do you gentlemen happen to have a cart I could push him in…?"

~H~

"Looks like Tono is drooling over the new girl" I whisper to Kaoru, who's cradling his wrist in the brace I found him. Yeah, we have a closet full of random stuff that nobody else knows of. Pretty cool, huh?

"He sure got over Haruhi quickly…" He whispers, glancing at the emo-looking guy, who seems to be staring at us. Maybe it's because I insisted I carry Kaoru…nah, I bet he's staring at Tamaki, who's a few feet away from us. He starts to approach us. Maybe not then…

"Trash, just show us where we will stay for the night." What? Who's he calling trash? After a moment of silence, he seemed to frown a bit more… "Are you deaf? I am talking to you, trash, where will we sleep tonight?"

We point to each other…kind of, I have to nod my head down at Kaoru. "You better be calling him trash." We both say.

"No, not you, but you do seem trashy, I was talking to the other trashy one." He says. We point to ourselves.

"Me?" We ask simultaneously.

~G~

I woke up to see Szayel sprawled out half on top of me.

"Dude, I'm not gay," I mutter as I shove him off of the bed. He let out a quiet OOF before climbing back into bed. I looked around to see two beds in the room. Halibel had one all to herself, Ulquiorra was on the couch, and I had to share with Pinky-Mc-Gay-Face.

"Shut up and scoot over," he mumbled as he just flopped back down under the blankets.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small figure crouched down by the couch. Ulquiorra was asleep, so he wouldn't do anything, so I guess it's all up to me. Sure, Szayel's awake, but he's already going back to sleep…and currently drooling on his pillow…gross…

"INTRUDER~!" I yelled as I jumped out of bed and pounced. I heard a squeal as a taller figure stood up and jumped. The lights were turned on by Halibel.

The next few things happened in slow motion to me. Halibel yelling "WHAT THE HELL?" Szayel snoring, Ulquiorra sitting up, half asleep, looking like a zombie, and that blonde guy launching himself from that brown girl's side and knocking me out with a frying pan.

~H~

"TAMAKIIIIII! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU _NOT_ TO BRING THE FRYING PAN!" I yell.

"But Haruhiiiiii!" He whines. "We needed SOME type of protection! Didn't you see that guy, he was trying to pounce on you like a cat! Daddy can't let that happen!"

He leans closer. "He could be a potential rapist!" He whispers in my ear. I grab the frying pan from him and slam it into his chest.

"Riiiiiggghhht…that's sooooo possible…" I reply, watching him fall down on the ground dramatically. Such a drama queen…

"What were you doing, _onna?_" asked the pale guy.

"We heard from the twins that you guys were evil : 3" Tamaki tells him. I slap my forehead and shake my head in my hands.

Pale Guy and his opposite (since she's a she and blonde and tan) glanced at each other. "What makes you think that?" asked Tia (the blonde lady)

"Well, the twins are devious and for some reason, they always know things. What type of guy are you, pale-y one?" Tamaki asks. He has such a big mouth…

"…pale-y…?" He ignored that. "Um…it seems that my 'comrades' describe me as emo…"

"So you're the emo/mysterious type. Girls like that. What types are the other two?" Tamaki asks him. He really doesn't know when to shut his trap…I swear I'm about to take the frying pan from him again and whack him into next week.

"…Really? The girls at where we come from hate me…" said Pale-y. Tia glanced at him.

"Um…Szayel is the scientist and Grimmjow…he's…what you might call the badass one…or just bad…but I think his ass is probably bad too…" said Tia.

Tamaki's just staring at them. "Ugh, come on Tamaki, time to go." I say, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him to the door. He's heavier than I thought…

"Bai bai : 3" Tamaki says, waving to them. Well they're not evil…

"…Good night…" replied Tia. Pale One just stayed silent and lay back down.

~S~ The next morning…

"I had a wonderful sleep last night! That bed is downright comfy!" I declared at the breakfast table. Everyone looked so exhausted… "Why are you all so down in the dumps? Ulquiorra, even YOU seem down today!"

"You're not the one who slept on the floor," muttered Grimmjow.

"You also didn't almost get attacked by a frying pan in the middle of the night…twice…" said Ulquiorra in his monotone.

"…I slept just fine…" said Tia.

"Good morning my new guests~!" Tamaki says, busting through the double doors, "I have some good news for all of you~! Accept for Tia, sorry, but you're a girl."

"Wonderful, more good news!" I flashed everyone a smile. Tia looked like she would murder the man if he said the wrong thing. "So, what is this good news, Tamaki-san?"

"You three men are joining the Host Club to pay back for your stay. And Tia, I've enrolled you in classes, and hope to see you in the Host Club by noon. You have the same classes as Haruhi! And boys, your training starts in a half hour, I've got you enrolled in classes too, but I had my dad get us the day off so I can teach you to be proper gentlemen." He says. He talks a lot…

~T~

"I'm so proud of them." I say to my customers as they peek over the back of the couch at our new hosts.

"They look so…foreign…" A blonde girl says.

"Yes, we don't know where they came from, but they still have the makings of proper men." I say.

"So you have a nerdy one, a badass one, and an emo/mysterious type now?" a brunette asks me.

"Yes, for the time being. We don't know how long they'll have to stay." I reply.

"I hope we don't stay long," scowled Badass One as he passed by. Another random girl tapped on his shoulder.

"Oh, that's too bad. I was hoping you could stay longer… We would certainly try and make your stay more pleasant," she said with a smile.

Grimmjow grinned deviously as he turned around. "Have you ever done it in a closet?" he glanced at the coatroom. The girl slaps him and stomps away after yelling "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!"

"…He'll need some more work…" I tell my terrified girls. "Don't worry, it's just some inside joke of his." I grin nervously.

Well, he just probably wants to make my life miserable, so he said, "Not really, I meant what I said…"

He's gonna need a lot more work than I thought he would.

~U~

"So, do you have any hobbies, Ulquiorra-kun?" asked the girl in front of me.

"…No…" I was going to point out that she should at LEAST call me Ulquiorra-SAN, but I dismissed it.

"…So…what do you like to do…?" she asked as she took a sip of tea.

"…I usually take walks during the day to pass the time…" I tried the tea and it tasted horrible compared to the ones I usually drink. Even though I don't see how it's made because we have no water in Hueco Mundo… Swallowing the tea, I stood up and decided to excuse myself so I could go use the toilet.

I didn't really need to go, I just wanted to get away from the girl.

~K~

"But…Hikaru…" I say turning my head to the side and then back again. "I thought we promised not to do this anymore…"

We are currently sprawled out on the ground, Hikaru sitting above me, cradling me in his arms. Our faces are only about half an inch away. Typical twin moment. Then that stupid Szayel-man-lady comes by and pushes Hikaru's face into mine, so we're actually KISSING lip-to-lip for the first time.

But of course, we have to keep kissing and "enjoy it" when the fangirls are fainting and cheering like crazy and man-lady is yelling "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR CALLING _ME_ GAY!"

But when he saw that we were actually enjoying it, he just groaned and stormed over to Tamaki.(AN: notice how I didn't put quotations around "enjoying it" this time ^^ yup. I am implying that they are enjoying it and therefore, kind of making them "gay incest")

We were fully out making out when Tamaki came over to break us up. Then he saw how much popularity we were getting, shrugged, and walked away.

And so I had to sit on Hikaru's lap for the rest of the time.

_END CHAPTER_

Okay, we're going to add a chapter 2 later, kay? We're just ending now because A is feeling _really _tired and blah, blah, blah. Me, I'm nocturnal pretty much ^-^.

_*yawn* Let me say this now, but I write what all the Bleach characters say and do while Hana-chan is writing what the Ouran characters say and do. Dang, I'm tired, so good night, minna-chan. Say good night, Hana._

GOOD NIGHT! 

…wait…was that a little loud? ^^" oops…

…_So..what do you think? Please review…_

_~Amaterasu Ai_

Srry for any conffuzling, if there was any. And yes, I am the one who made the twins make out XD if ur wondering, I'm the one that watches Ouran, and A watches Bleach. So ya…I might as well sign off, cuz I forgot what else I wanted to say. Oh well…oh, and Axel-kun, if you read this, don't try to explode on ur commet on the incest, kay? And I'm still ur innocent little sister, I've just always wanted to make the twins do that for some reason. It seemed like it just needed to happen. And if you still disagree, remember that there are A LOT of fangirls that'll back me up.

~Hana


	2. Chapter 2

Los Ouran

Chapter 2

~G~ It's the end of the day now…

"SUOH!" He turned around with half a donut hanging from his mouth. "What kind of sick hellhole do you LIVE in? I can't STAND this place!"

"But…this is pretty much the best place you can be…It's like more like a fantasy instead of a school…" He replies softly after finishing his donut. He gets a slap for that.

"NO! I HATE this place! Since I have to endure this place for a whole day, YOU are going to experience MY fantasy/place where I live! You'll find it to be rather hellhole-ish too!" I yelled at him as Ulquiorra and Szayel walked into the room with Halibel. Damn, that's one ugly yellow dress.

"I can endure anything. Give it your best shot! Just, not to my face or hair or anything like that. I want to stay beautiful." He brags. Halibel walked up to him….then kicked him where it counts. Next thing we see, he's rolling on the ground and sputtering random words/sounds.

"Ahh…you kick hard!" he squeaks as he continued to cry about it.

"…You can endure ANYTHING… I see that now…" said Halibel as she tugged at the dress. "This is tight, are you SURE there aren't any more that would actually fit?"

~H~

"Kaoru…I think we're gonna die…" I whisper to my younger twin. Tamaki INSISTED that we come along to the trip to where the new kids live. Haruhi came too.

"Well, if anyone else is like that pink dude, then...let's just hang out with Tia all day!" He replies. I nod furiously. Stupid Szayel…Making us kiss like that…

"I like that idea." I reply. We raise our hands for high-fives, and yell "YEAH!" like some people would do in a random cartoon or something. Ulquiorra glares at us. We go to his sides.

"So, how're we gettin' there, pale-y?" I ask. The next thing that happened was FREAKY!

Pale-y just snapped his fingers and all of a sudden, a black hole just rips open! Pale-y, Blue-y, Blondie, and Pinky all stepped in, unfazed by it, as if it happened all the time.

"Well, aren't you going to come with us? Or are you just scared?" taunted Grimmjow.

"What the hell is this?" I yell. Kaoru glances at me from the side. I give him a "sorry" look. He doesn't really like it when I swear.

"This," stated Ulquiorra plainly, "Is a Garganta. It is our way of traveling between the worlds."

"So you're aliens?" Kaoru yells. Tia shakes her head in her hands and turns away.

"…Not exactly…" Szayel pushes up his glasses. It kind of reminds me of Kyouya, except for the pink-hair part…And maybe-gay part… "Let me explain what we are. We are Arrancar, or in simple terms for idiots, Hollows. We are souls, yes that means we're dead, don't freak out. We are deceased souls that have lost our hearts, and to stay alive, we must consume other hollows and move up the ranks in evolution. We," he gestured to the other three, "Are in the top ten most powerful Hollows in existence." Pinky then flipped his hair. "Care to join us? It's kill or be killed, so you might want to come or else we'll have to kill you."

"So…you're like cannibal pokemon?" Kaoru suggests.

"Just get in." Tia tells us as Grimmjow grabs Tamaki by the collar and drags him in.

We hurry in and next thing we know, it shuts behind us so there's no turning back.

"Um…Hikaru? Where'd you go…?" Kaoru asks.

"I'm over her-" Something grabs me by the collar and drags me through the darkness. I feel like I'm going the speed of sound…

~U~

When we arrived, we just dragged the trashy humans to the throne room where Aizen-sama sat up on his throne.

"What do you have here, Ulquiorra?" he asked as he glanced at the four.

"These are some trashy people we met. They gave us a place to stay, so now, we are _returning the favor._" Grimmjow let out a laugh as Suoh looked around nervously.

"Alright…just stay with them all day, why don't you give them a tour of our home," suggests Aizen-sama. We nodded before leaving.

~H~

We walked for what seemed like forever until we go to Szayel's room. Well, we actually walked through a bunch of random doors in the wall.

"Welcome to my wing!" said Szayel as waved his arm out at the massive room. It was filled tables full of science-y stuff. There were things hanging on the wall and it smelled like a mix of chemicals and blood…scary…And if you listened carefully, you could hear some sounds that sound like screams and chain saws…

Now I see why the other three are hanging out by the door…

"I don't like this place…" I whisper to Tamaki. "It smells weird and I'm hearing scary sounds…"

He looks at me blankly. "What? I don't smell anything. And there aren't any sounds other than us talking."

"Listen." I say. The screams let out again. Tamaki looks terrified.

"Um…where are the restrooms?" I can tell he doesn't like this place too much either anymore.

"Oh, we don't really have any nearby. The nearest one is in the fifth tower I think…kind of a long walk…" Szayel says. "There's a shortcut through my lab though." He gives a creepy-looking grin that I think was supposed to be a helpful-looking one. It just makes him look like a pedo though…

"I need some fresh air…" Tamaki says, walking out the door.

"We'll go with him." The twins and I say. We run out the door after him.

Once we get out, the twins high-five each other and we run into the other three. Tamaki is standing next to them.

"Why aren't you guys going through the tour of Szayel's room?" Tia asks us.

"Well…it's really creepy in there. Creepier than Tamaki's mural of Haruhi." The twins say.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing…nothing…" Tamaki gives the twins a death glare and appears by my side. "So what now?" He asks Grimmjow, Tia and Ulquiorra.

"Let's just go to my room and play some Xbox…" Grimmjow says, turning away and walking in a random direction.

"Agreed." The twins say. All I see of them next was a big blur chasing after Grimmjow.

~G~ (again already)

As I led the dramatic bastard and his friends through the halls, they all kept glancing at each other nervously.

"BOO!" I yelled suddenly.

"AIIEEEEP!" screeched Suoh as he jumped out of his dramatic-y bastard-y skin. He attempted to jump into the twins arms, but they went to stand a few feet away at the last second. "Remind me to never do the trust fall with you two…ever again."

They looked at each other and shrugged. "Oh, we didn't see you…"

Right, and I was Cleopatra's pet leopard. They didn't see a big dramatic bastard blonde and blue blob flying at them while screaming "AIIEEEP! HELP ME FROM THE GHOSTS~!"

They must be deaf…but I technically am a ghost…

"Hey, Tono, you've really outdone yourself this time. You passed blonde dumbness, and are now a dumbass. Congrats!" Hikaru says. He gets a worried glance from Kaoru, and Kaoru pulls him aside.

I just happen to hear their conversation, 'cause I'm awesome like that.

"Hikaruuuu! You know I don't like it when you swear, even if it's meaningful!" Kaoru whines…Pansy….

"I'm sorry, Kaoru…" Hikaru says, pulling Kaoru into his arms. Good thing Szayel isn't around. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, you know that." Then he pulls Kaoru so close that you wouldn't even be able to fit my résumé in between then. And my résumé is P.U.N.Y.!

"Hikaru, people are staring…" Hm…he seems to be blind, because the only other people in the hall are well…the rest of us…the dramatic bastard and Haruhi-person aren't even paying any attention to them at all. They must be used to it.

Now the gay incest is almost as close as they were the day Szayel got his "revenge" on them. So pretty much what he did to them yesterday. Tia is staring at them with disgust.

"…What the hell are you _doing_?" Tia says, slapping them both outside the head. I snicker. Bad idea, she comes and slaps me too. "And don't you know better than to laugh when someone gets hurt? What are you, a caveman?"

…I did NOT expect her to go all mom on me…this has never happened to me before…I mean like, I've laughed at people a thousand times for getting hurt, why punish me now?

"…Owwwww! What the hell was that for?" Hikaru yells at her. Kaoru glances nervously at him again. "Sorry Kaoru, you know I don't mean to…" He pulls his twin into a hug, and I swear I saw him kiss the top of his head. Tia slaps them again. I make sure to hold in my laughter, because my head is STILL throbbing in pain.

"Really, why do you keep slapping us?" Kaoru yells. It's about time he spoke.

"Because you're being gay incest and it's getting really disturbing, and not to mention, gross! I don't see why all the girls back at that wretched school like it so much!" She snaps back at them. I see Tamaki cringe when she said "wretched", Haruhi shrugs, and the twins walk back in fear. I think it may be Tia's time of the month again…

And then she turned to me, and she is looking pretty angry. "And NO it's not my time of the month you bastard! Stop thinking such perverted thoughts!"

…Liar…

~K~

"And here we are at my room!" Grimmjow says, holding an arm out to reveal his amazingly-cool room. It's really messy though…Sweet…

"XBOX! XBOX! XBOX!" Hikaru and I chant. He points to an almost-buried TV with an Xbox sitting next to it, almost completely covered by…unknown…specimens…

"XBOX!" we yell, running to it so fast that some people (*COUGH*Tamaki and Grimmmjow.*COUGH*) were surprised when they figured out we got over there in 3 seconds flat. (They never knew that two very excited teenage boys could run that fast.)

"Hey, what's this?" Tamaki asked, pulling what seemed to be a water bed out of something that resembled a closet.

"Be careful with that!" Grimmy-jow yells as Tamaki plops it on the ground. "It could break easily, and I HATE water! Tia gave it to me as a prank on my birthday…"

Hikaru and I turn back to the game. We'll jump on it as soon as Tamaki sits on it. Cause some mayhem.

"Well it doesn't seem like it'll break so-hey is that a hole?" Tamaki says, pointing to a random little hole with a pin in it. He pulls out the pin and water comes pouring out as fast as it can with that little hole. Grimmy-jow jumps about…say…10 feet and lands back clinging to Ulquiorra. I almost forgot he was here.

"Get off me, Trash. It's just some water." Ulquiorra tells him, pushing Grimmjow into a nearby pool that has formed already. Grimmjow jumps even higher than last time.

Tia smirks. "Well, I'll just leave before this gets any…more fun…" She says, leaving the room, and then I hear a click that sounds like a door locking.

I look over at my twin. We nod. Time to cause some mayhem.

"CANNONBALL!" We yell, plunging onto the waterbed and sending waves flying. This is the best prank EVER!

"AIEEEEEE!" Grimmjow yelps. There's a foot of water in the room already, and it seems there are no cracks it can flow through. Looks like Tia sealed the door closed. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

"…We weren't…?" I reply. Grimmjow runs so fast that if you blinked, you'd miss him, and then he appears before us, holding up his fist.

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to think in the afterlife!" He grumbles, grabbing me by the collar and holding me up, his other fist ready to punch.

"That will be enough, trash." Ulquiorra says, sending a beam of light to his head.

"OW! You dumbass, that hurt!" Grimmjow yells back in reply, turning to Ulquiorra and dropping me. Hikaru kneels beside me, checking for any injuries.

Then you'll never believe it, but Grimmjow sent back another beam of light (It's red!), but it only got blocked by Ulquiorra's bigger one. (Which is green!)

Tamaki and Haruhi come running over to us, Tamaki being the heroic one when the beam got a little to close. He picked up Haruhi and ran over to us as fast as he could.

"Aw…they make such a cute couple!" Hikaru mumbled to me.

"I know right! I don't see why he doesn't just ask her out already! She _would_ say yes. He's just a scaredy cat I guess…" I reply. Hikaru nods and holds up my arm.

"I think you may have fractured your arm…" He tells me, grabbing what I hope was a nearby cloth and wrapping my arm in a sling. The water is now about a foot and a half, so Hikaru and I go and sit on a random table. Tamaki and Haruhi are there with us in a few minutes.

"This is _not _good…" Haruhi states. We all nod. I have to admit, THIS IS THE GREATEST ADVENTURE I'VE HAD IN THREE YEARS!

~T~

"Heh…thanks, Szayel Aporro," I said with a smirk. He nodded.

"Bastard deserves it for ditching me like that."

"OH GOD! HELP ME! I DON'T DESERVE TO DIE LIKE THIS!" We hear Grimmjow cry out as the water continues to rise. We hear Ulquiorra cero him as Grimmjow probably holds on to some pole in there for his life. "Nooo…!"

"What about those other people? And Ulquiorra."

"…I didn't think they would be in there…"

"…They are…"

"AIEE~!"

"Shut up, Tono!"

"Yeah!"

"You ALL shut up, trash."

"…I see…Er…hear…"

We stood there for a while listening to the cries and screams and irritation from the room.

"…Should we just go get lunch…?" suggested Szayel as he started down the hall. I walked the other way.

"Sure. We'll let them out tonight." I reply.

~T~

"You guyyyyssss! We'll never get out if you don't stop firing your lasers at each other and get along already!" I say to persuade then to stop fighting. It doesn't really work…looks like I'll have to take some risks…

I jump between them and close my eyes, expecting to get killed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, DUMBASS? WE COULD'VE KILLED YOU!" Grimmjow yells at me. I open my eyes now, and he slaps me what I think he thought was softly on the back of my head.

"OWWIE!" I yell in reply. Wasn't too smart a choice for me to go stand there apparently.

"Grimmjow, just leave him alone!" Haruhi says. Aww…she's so cute when she tries to stand up for me…

"Aw…does this mean you like me and care for me?" I coo. She looks at me like I'm a maniac, sighs as if saying "he'll never get it", and walks away.

"So…are you gay?" Grimmjow asks me.

"What are you implying…?" I reply. Why the heck does he ask that?

"Well…Haruhi is a BOY, and you're a BOY, so what gives? Is this why you hang out with girls all the time?" he says, looking confused a little…seems like a new look for him…

"What? No way, Haruhi is a girl, she just has to wear boy clothing so the girls at our school will think she's a boy. Then she can be in the host club, and then she can pay off her debt to us. She's terribly clumsy…" I drone. He seems to yawn and takes an empty space on an air mattress that just happens to float by. "…and then we're going to fall in love and get married and live happily ever after~! It's the perfect pla-HEY! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?" I imagine out loud.

"You're crazy, gay-Baka." Grimmjow retorts.

"SENPAI! STOP HAVING TWISTED VISIONS ABOUT OUR FUTURE! And I thought you thought of me as your daughter! NOT YOUR WIFE! AGH! DAMN RICH BASTARDS!" Haruhi yells.

"We heard that!" The twins reply.

"MOTHE-oh wait...mother's not here…Twin sons! Your sister's using foul language again!" Tamaki cries.

"Whatever…" The reply, shrugging and sticking their tongues out at each other, looking bored, the usual looks they get when Tamaki's being an idiot again. Then they turn their attention to Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. "Can't you two just fire your lasers at the wall and blow a hole in it so we can get out? They do look sort of powerful to us…"

Ulquiorra stood there for a minute. "Cero."

"BOOSH~!" The green laser created a giant hole in the wall. The water falls out and floods the hallways.

"Ulquiorra, you bastard! You realize that EVERYONE in Las Noches wears WHITE uniforms right?" yelled Grimmjow. He grinned. "THANK YOU~!" He yelled before sprinting down the hall, probably to go and find some soaked girls.

"Well…he seems cheerful…" I say, trying to give a hopefully-cheerful-looking smile.

~G~

I can't believe I'm saying this, but for once I'm glad that the stupid emo bastard's around! For once, he actually something RIGHT! Now, I just need to head to Harribel's room, because this water is flooding our huge-ass home pretty quickly...

So as I'm running to the Harribel's room, I see the two bitches I hate. Since I just _love _so much, I give them a wolf whistle before flipping them off.

Left and right there were girls everywhere! All soaking wet and some of them jumping up and down and playing in the water! It's so hot; with every corner I turn, there's a soaking wet girl with a see through shirt! I would've had a ton of fun...except when I found Harribel at lunch; she didn't approve and slapped the face off of me.

It was worth it. In the end, all of us had a great time. I got to see wet girls, Ulquiorra got to do whatever Ulquiorras like to do, Szayel got to stay in his dry lab, and Tia finally got to slap the face off of me.

It may not be a happy ending in your eyes, but to us, it's awesome.

~T~

"Senpai…" Haruhi glares at me. Uh-oh…

"Yes…?" I ask with a hopeful smile that said "Please don't hurt me because you love me and I love you, too =D"

"We're leaving. Now. Why did we even go here in the first place?" she demands as she drags us by our collars and starts going to the Garganta thingy that opened magically.

"For new experiences to tell our children about?" I suggested as Ulquiorra followed us into the Garganta thingy. Haruhi glared at me before letting go of our collars. Once we arrived somewhat safely back at the school (WE FELL OUT OF THE SKY.), Renge was there to lecture us and ask where the hell we were.

Once we told her about everything she beamed. "We should totally remodel the Music Room like that for tomorrow!"

We all paled and glanced at each other as Renge started describing the lazers we could shoot and all that stuff that was probably life threatening.

"And we'll call it…" She paused for dramatic effect. "LOS OURAN!"

We all groaned.

_THE END?_

Yeah…I wrote the end, but Hana actually wrote most of this chapter... Sorry, Hana, my splendid isolation isn't very fun, so I'm getting some work done. You can write your own ending if you want.

Thanks to anyone who reads and reviews and all that good stuff. This is a crack fic I'm pretty sure.

Review?

~Amaterasu Ai (and Hana, too, if she were here)


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